Do you believe in love at first sight - Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes worth Laughing over
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
funny
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Funny quotes and sayings
Short funny quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.
- Anonymous
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
- Anonymous
Funny quotes with pics
Short funny sayings
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
- Anonymous
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
- Anonymous
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time...
- Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your
birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
- Anonymous
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May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.
— Unknown
Out of all the lies I’ve told, “Just kidding!” is my favorite.
— Unknown
Funny life quotes to make you laugh
I put the pro in procrastinate.
— Unknown
Etc. – End of Thinking Capacity.
— Unknown
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I hate when I go to bed and I forget to turn my swag off.
— Unknown
You make me giggle quotes
After Tuesday, even the calendar goes “W T F”.
— Unknown
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
— Ziad K. Abdelnour
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“The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry.”
— Unknown
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“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
— Douglas Adams
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“Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.”
— Unknown
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“I’ve realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.”
— John Mayer
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Most people are only alive because it’s illegal to shoot them.
— Unknown
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#love #instagood #photooftheday #life #girl
#happy #follow #followme #picoftheday
#like4like #fun #instadaily
Short funny sayings
Next time your girl wants you to take her somewhere expensive, take her to the gas station, almost 5.00/gallon.
— Unknown
“I stay up late every night and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.”
— Unknown
“They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine was hit by a truck…”
— Unknown
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It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.
— Shirley MacLaine
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My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.
— Unknown
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I’m gonna go take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it.
— Unknown
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We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.
— Unknown
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If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.
— Unknown
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I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
— William Shakespeare
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People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
— Winnie the Pooh
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I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.— Ziad K. Abdelnour
Yo mama so chatty when she signed into Skype it said "Error: Too Much Information"
Yo mama so chatty she's the reason, Raj from the Big Bang Theory doesn't talk to women.
Yo momma so chatty that even Whitney Cummings became annoyed.
