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funny quotes about humor
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It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.
— Shirley MacLaine
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My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.
— Unknown
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I’m gonna go take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it.
— Unknown
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We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.
— Unknown
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If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.
— Unknown
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I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
— William Shakespeare
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People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
— Winnie the Pooh
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