Facebook quotes and statuses
This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it's not, because morning sucks.
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five
different things at the same time.
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
I just blew all my party money on bills again.
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