Quotes and photos: best one liner

Funny one liners

If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".